#memorablemomentsineducation #20: A friend had an icky run-in with a student today, a moment where she was genuinely scared. It got me thinking about my own scary interactions with students (because if you teach long enough, you’ll have some).
I was two or three months pregnant with my daughter, but no one at work knew. My nerves were fried, and I didn’t have much in the reserves to withstand the frustration that comes with some students. This particular young man got into an argument with me because I wouldn’t let him leave my homeroom to access another teacher without a pass (which stems from some admittedly ridiculous policy, but that’s a topic for another day). He was not happy that I stood my ground so he decided to step inside it, using his considerable height and weight to intimidate me. I can’t remember what he said, but I know how I felt. I’m sure he didn’t consciously “throw his weight around,” but he knew on some level that his masculinity could overpower me and I would have to submit. I don’t know if I relented or if he just decided to leave, but I have never seen that kid since.
After class, I ended up in our assistant principal Karl’s office where I tried to relay what happened without coming off as an hysterical, oversensitive woman. There was no tangible violation of the rules that I could point to, but I’m sure every woman I know has experienced a moment like this where a man uses his physical proximity to overwhelm her. Much to my relief, Karl listened and agreed this child had crossed the line. He offered to remove him from my class, and I burst into tears, shaking out of fear and gratitude. My reaction, seemingly out of character, surprised Karl the most. Usually, I have my sh*t together, but not this time. I think the most disturbing part of the encounter hadn’t been what this kid did but who he was—one of my high school students—and I gave in, let him be removed from my class, and never cared a bit for whether he would ever learn how wrong his actions had been.
Luckily that kind of thing doesn’t happen everyday, but it does happen. I’ve been fortunate I had administrators who take these incidents seriously and work to protect both the teacher and the student. I know there is much behind that student’s reaction to me, which could explain why he treated me that way and all of which I’ll never understand. Really, what can you do except hope and pray it doesn’t happen again?